Just to catch up. This past season was my second as the Artistic Director at The Henegar Center. I learned a lot the first year. I learned even more the second. As I enter the my third year I know that I will learn more and more. Over the next few weeks I will go into more depth about the shows listed below and start my blog about the current show I am working on "Memphis".... but here's the start of an overview of last year, 2014-2015.
August 2014
"Merrily We Roll Along". Probably one of the shows I was most challenged by and most perplexed by. There is one thing in life I know that I do well. The one thing I have the most confidence about. And that is directing. This show pushed me to my limit. But what a cast. What voices. That music! It is a show that inherently bonds director, cast, crew and musicians for life. Literally the show was like trying to put a puzzle together. I would literally call my BFF Christine Brandt, who also played Gussie, every night after rehearsal and dissect what we had done. I couldn't get the show out of my head. And that damn opening number, I think I blocked it 17 different times. Not sure if I succeeded, but I couldn't have been more proud of the show itself.
I truly dissected the show with a blunt object before we started rehearsals. I read it in reverse and did tons of character research tracking each character and their journey from "their" actual beginning on the roof top. How in the hell can I translate a show to an audience told in reverse from the present to the past? And have the audience care about these people when they are at their absolute lowest emotionally? FIND THE HUMANITY IMMEDIATELY! Even when we are at our lowest, our light still shines. So find that one thing that an audience can connect to and follow it through to the end. The reverse story structure has been called a 'gimmick' ever since the musical premiered (and the straight play it is based on from 1934). But I think it is more than that. After the show is over it literally forces you, as an audience member, to look back on your own life. The choices that we made, for better or worse. And the effect it has had on who we are now. Don't we all look back and wished we were smarter in our 20's? I always tell people, nostalgia in your 20's is almost joyous. Nostalgia when you are my age, 40 something (shh) has a melancholy feel to it. A pang in your chest that hurts. Where would I be if I wasn't so self absorbed when I was younger? The structure of the show, which is confusing at first, becomes abundantly clear throughout the first act. It concentrates on those monumental life decisions. The ones we think are right in the moment. But were they? See? I could go on and on. Maybe one day I will. I still have my diary.
The show's theme of friendship truly hit home when I was reconnected with a friend I did theatre with in 1993 at Cumberland County Playhouse, Shane Frampton. I randomly saw a pic of her on Facebook in Key West and messaged her. Little did I know that she was living 35 miles south of me in Vero Beach! I got her tickets to "Merrily" and when she walked in the door, the 21 years in between seeing each other literally felt like minutes. There is not a week that goes by that I don't talk to Shane. See, the show is magical. A cast member in the show and I realized that we had been working 5 minutes from each other for several years back in 2001.
Well, I always feel like I am never finished directing a show, even when it is open I resist the temptation to give notes. My youthful exuberance is gone somewhat, but my passion and drive is still there. I don't continue to fix shows once they open like I did in my 20's. But that doesn't mean I am not sitting there taking notes. (Whether I actually give them or not...) I could probably write a thesis on this show and still write more.
As a Director it is a show that has really hit home for me lately. Directing is my life. There are just some things that I think we are born to do. That is mine. I can't do anything else very well. Okay, maybe tapping. I can do that well. And I can do a great lateral lisp. Mainly, I am the most confident about Directing. BUT, being an Artistic Director has its inherent challenges that plants a seed of doubt in one's little brain. Now, instead of just being at the helm of a show and guiding actors, who are looking for your leadership, to a successful finish, you are now at the helm of a bigger entity. One that has many moving parts. Many opinions. Many distractions. But the same conclusion. Success. Sometimes we miss. Sometimes we win. It is the in between that I struggle with. Making everyone feel important and part of the team, but still be in charge overall.
As far as this crazy job is concerned, my tragic flaw is that I want everyone to be happy and feel their best at what they do. But somehow you still have to say "no" sometimes. I am not good at it. And that is hard for people to take, when they know 95% of what you tell them is "yes". They look at you like, Who are you?!? I am not one who pulls "rank" in life. But I have to tell you, this job almost forces you to. Why? Because, continuing with my obvious 'ship' analogy, I go down with it. I am the responsible party. Sometimes people don't like what I say, or how I direct a scene, or who I cast. But I stand by that! I always want my creative team to be just that, creative. But ultimately I have to be the judge and jury. Here's the thing I remind myself and remind the people around me everyday. NONE of us are experts. We are all still learning from each other. After 24 years in crazy this business I still learn everyday how to do something different. No one has all the answers. But like "Merrily". I try to put all the pieces of the puzzle on the floor and figure it out. My Grandmother used say, "Hank, when you have all the answers, they close the casket." Morbid, but true.
My first year was a nightmare. No one likes change and boy did I get the brunt of everyone's anger. (Seriously, random phone calls, "Don't walk to your car alone at night...", "You are going to ruin the Henegar!" and my personal favorite: "You are an asshole!") So creative. I knew it was going to be hard, but I had no idea the hate involved. But I knew if I was going to come in and take this over I needed to stand by my choices. Yes, people say that I have been isolative, cold, mean, but my need for the Henegar to succeed was tangible. And you know what? If people didn't like the choices I made or the changes I made, its is a free country! They don't have to be there! Just go. And preferably be quiet about it. I happen to think I am a nice guy. So, it shows what the haters know...nothing! Plus, generally speaking, the people that talk smack the most are the ones that are never around. Some of them I have never met! I felt like Martin Scorsese being taken to task when he directed "The Passion of Christ"... because when the haters were asked the simple question: Have you seen it? The majority of them said NO! WHAT?!? Anyway, it reminds me of my favorite line in "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas". The lyric goes (I am going off memory here):
And any questions you might have about the way I run this place
Don't gripe and whine behind my back
Just tell me face to face, I'm open-minded, say it all
Then go upstairs and pack, the door's that way
The people that mattered stuck by me. And that is what matters. And guess what? The majority of it worked! So there, haters! I had to grow the one thing I never had, a shield. I call it the 'hate shield'. If you ever see me in the Henegar hallway and I am whispering to myself, 'Ding...Ding...Ding..." those are the imaginary bullets flying off my shield from another hater. I am not kidding, just follow me around.
Being a Director can be a thankless job. If a show is a success, people talk about: THE MUSIC! THE DANCING! THE EMOTION! But when a show flops, people talk about: THE DIRECTOR! I do not do my job for the kudos. I just don't. If you are in the arts just looking for a pat on the back, do something else. You have to pat yourself on the back. The audience applause is all I need.
This is the longest stretch of time in my life that I have not been directing something.... a whopping 4 months. No time to some, a lifetime to me. During this recent casting session I felt like I had lost some of my voice. My instinct. I am getting it back. Its like not exercising and then picking it back up at the same speed and volume when stopped. It takes time. I will get my voice back. I slowly am. And when I do, watch out. :)
I end with my favorite lyric from "Merrily" which pretty much sums it all up!
Okay, now you know,
Now forget it.
Don't fall apart at the seams.
It's called letting go your illusions,
And don't confuse them with dreams.
Yes sir, quite a blow ?
Don't regret it,
And don't let's go to extremes.
It's called what's your choice?
It's called count to ten.
It's called burn your bridges, start again.
You should burn them every now and then
Or you'll never grow!
Because now you grow.
That's the killer, is
Now you grow.
You're right, nothing's fair,
And it's all a plot,
And tomorrow doesn't look so hot ?
Right, you better look at what you've got:
Over here, hello?
Okay, now you know,
Right?
So my question, musical theatre fans, after reading this lyric over and over again is that you have to burn bridges in life? Is that what he is saying? Get rid of the crap?
Anyway, more to come.... "Now You Know"! H.
All photos by the amazing Dana Niemeier, resident photographer at The Henegar. Check her out here: http://www.dananphotography.com/
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