It's a mess....It's a mass...

August 4, 2016

Here I am.  At a crossroads.

I haven't been here in a while, but felt like I needed to document this crazy journey I am on. Forgive me while I purge...  I am not going to edit.  I am just going to write.  

I will go back a few months, while I was directing “Big Fish”, I could tell something was amiss.  I was fatigued, depressed, down all the time and just not myself.  But I knew I needed to get my act together as the day after the show closed I was headed to direct out of town.  Thank God.  I needed out of this place for a bit.  The one thing left that I had to do was a Doctor’s appointment, my annual physical.  I never really felt like I got my voice back after “Nice Work”, but that really wasn’t my worry until my GP found a mass on my thyroid.  It was pushing on my voice box.  So there is one explanation.  The problem was I couldn’t get into a specialist before I left.  So, it sat untouched, but worried about for over one month. 

Besides the mass, I just chalked it up to be general fatigue from just directing over 4 shows back to back and being in one where I sang and danced, ad nauseum.  That is a killer on you emotionally under the best of circumstances, especially when they are big musicals.  It takes its toll on you.  Ever since I moved to Brevard and especially since I have been at the Henegar, there is this overwhelming sense of sabotage.  I don’t mean that in a James Bond way, I just mean that in a we want you to fail way.  I don’t want to get into it specifically as there is no need and this isn’t about anyone else.  This is about my perspective.  There are tons of actors I would LOVE to work with that lie under this spoken and unspoken “conflict of interest” clause upheld by some of our artists in the area.  It might be my paranoia exacerbated by my thyroid levels…or my paranoia in general.  Some people think I am aloof, arrogant, elitist, but the truth is I am incredibly shy and very insecure.  Not a good match as a leader in an arts organization.  I think I have talked about it on my blog before, but many things went down my first year that I didn't think I deserved.  And I was scared to death!   I still and always will encourage actors to go and audition for everything they can!  I am not territorial in the slightest.  Then people make it personal, which it shouldn't be.  It SHOULD be collaborative.  I think along the way I fell into the trap of this way of thinking.  How can you not?  It immediately puts one on the defensive.  

Back to the summer, I went away for a month and one week and immediately came back to help direct the summer program.  On July 29 I finally got an appointment to a specialist.  I was scared to death.  I walked into his office shaking.  After 10 minutes into his evaluation he said, “We need to do a biopsy now.”  In a way it was a good thing that I had no time to think about it, I couldn’t chicken out.  And at this point, I knew something was wrong and I wanted to know what it was. 

Within 5 minutes I was on an exam table in a really cold room with tons of computer screens.  I laid back and took a deep breath.  The Doctor and two assistants were there.  The first injection was a numbing medicine.  It felt like a Novocaine shot, but in the neck.  Scary to say the least.  After that I had 8 needles poked into the mass, on the right side of my thyroid.  A Fine Needle Aspiration or FNA for short.  The final one was a DNA test, to see if cancer was in my genetic make-up.  I think the way I made it through all of it was closing my eyes and pinching my right thumb with my left thumb and forefinger.  I imagined that horrible scene in “The Exorcist” where Reagan has the spinal tap.  Well, it wasn’t that bad, but man, it was one of the scariest things I had even been through.  If I had opened my eyes during it I would have seen the mass and the video of the procedure on a big screen in front of me.  The Doctor even offered to put it on repeat in order for me to record it on my phone. 

The Doctor came in and said, “Two week…max!  If you hear from my RN, you are fine.  If you hear from me directly, you know it is bad news.”  I was shaking and I honestly couldn’t stop.  I didn’t know what to think.  The Nurse handed me an ice pack, said take ibuprofen and sent me out the door.  Now came the worst part.  The wait... 

The mind plays funny tricks on you.  Since the FNA was on a Friday, without thinking, I shut my phone off and buried myself away from everyone.  I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t get out of my head, I couldn’t process what was happening at all.  I was so blue that I couldn’t even get out of bed and didn’t want to.  Bruce stayed by my side and let me know when he had to go out to potty and exercise which I gladly did.  It took my mind off it for a second.  But once the door shut, I immediately went back into my head and this substantial funk. 

I started looking at the facts:

I felt like crap.  All the time.

I had no energy.

Winter 2016, I was 170lbs.  I was now 154lbs.  Seven months later.

I was so paranoid that I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t sleep.

I started remembering a thought I had during the summer away directing.  The show was relatively small, with a 7 member cast.  And they were amazingly talented.  I was scared to death.  I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me.  So the first couple of days we were all feeling each other out.  But what I noticed was their joy.  They were so happy.  Just being.  Working.  Singing.  I was jealous.  I wanted to feel that way.  Ever since I was a little kid I always felt put together wrong.  Like I was constantly evaluating myself and holding myself to a higher standard than anyone else.  But I don’t think I ever felt truly happy.  Of course, I had many moments of happiness, but overall I always seemed a little disconnected.  I did the therapy.  The anti-depressants.  Everything.  And nothing seemed to work.  

This is NOT a woe is me diatribe.  Trust.  I have worked very hard to get where I am and have loved a great deal in my life.  But at my core I think I have always been at arm’s length from everyone.  I got used to making sure everyone around me was happy that I forgot to take care of myself.  That is honestly the worst part of my job.  I want EVERYONE to have that part.  I want everyone to perform their best.  And the problem is the world doesn’t work that way.  So I take the brunt of everyone’s anger or hurt and displace it onto myself.  Being an Empath, Directing is the wrong career choice in many respects.  One friend told me that I was an Empath (a person with the ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual).  They were spot on.  I totally was.  I tell people all the time, “There is nothing you can say to me that I don’t say to myself 100 times worse”.  And it is very true. 

I have dealt with tons of disappointment in my life.  Some people handle it differently than others.  I burrow and collect myself until I am ready.  BUT, people know I am that way and know that I feel guilty for all of it.  I hate to say I let them.  But I let them.  And again, I take on their problem and neglect my own.  I hear people in town still bitching about me not casting them in a show.  And even now, maybe 4 years later, I still feel bad about it.  Uninvited to parties.  Not being asked to participate in various things.  Some are right, I probably wouldn’t go anyway.  So it is a waste of postage and a Facebook message. But some do it out of spite, but did I do that to myself?  Isolation again?   

This was not the time for me to isolate.  I had to work on the summer show.  I had to contact people to help with the new season of shows, but I couldn’t.  I didn’t even want to pick up the phone.  It made people mad.  It made people question where I was and what I was doing.  But I knew one thing for sure.  I didn’t want to tell anyone what was going on.  That changed one day when someone told me, with pure honesty that I looked like “complete and utter shit”.  I knew I did.  This was no surprise but someone actually verbalized it.  Out of the mouths of babes.

I told a few people that helped me during the summer.  I felt like they needed to know just in case something happened during the rehearsal process.  I was afraid that they would look at me differently or feel sorry for me.  Why did I even get hung up on that crap?  I eventually told my small circle of people that I cared about.  And I felt a little better, getting it out of my head.  The one person I didn’t want to tell was Mom.  But I did.  She is like me.  She takes on her children’s problems and worries about it probably more than we do.  And I specifically did not want her to worry about me.  PLUS, I didn’t even know what it was!

Everyone in my life was super supportive, but I still kept everyone at a distance.  It felt safer somehow.  

While I was waiting, I also had auditions for the first show I was directing in the season, “Hand To God”.  I hadn’t directed upstairs since “Spring Awakening” three years ago and I wanted to work on a play with a small cast.  So, was it a blessing or a curse that I had another show to work on immediately?  I still don’t know.  But I am about to find out...  

    

Screw Loose...

Cry Baby, The Musical -- May 2015

This one is going to take a little time as I had been working on the show for around 2 years, from first email to the end of the run.  So its better for you, Dear Reader, that I break it up in parts. :)

Part One:  The Beginning

I don’t even know where to start talking about my crazy adventure in bringing Cry-Baby the Musical to life at the Henegar.  There is one thing that people know about me.  The first thing is that I always take big risks and second, I never give up.  My philosophy is that if you want something bad enough, there is a way to make it happen.

Many times during this process I felt like Thelma and Louise.  Should I park the car and get shot or should I just go ahead and dive off the cliff?  I dove off the cliff obviously.  The last two years have been full of cliff diving!

During tech week for Ain’t Misbehavin’ I was watching YouTube videos waiting on a light to be fixed and taking my mind off ticket sales.  I came across the Tony Award performance of Cry-Baby where the prisoners were tapping with license plates on their shoes.  I had forgotten how exhilarating that number was when I saw it live in New York in 2008.  I loved the show when I saw it and so did the audience. So I began wondering why the show had never been licensed.  Google literally had nothing until I ran across a blog by my new hero, Scott Miller.  Scott is the Artistic Director at New Line Theatre in St. Louis.  Scott was able to contact the author’s agents and actually produce the show in a scaled down version with help from the authors themselves.  Check out his blog entry here.

Scott wrote an entire thesis about the show, what he loved and hated about the Broadway production and how he was going to look at it with a fresh perspective.  I was hooked.  I had to put the show on the Henegar line up.  I just didn’t know how.  So, I emailed Scott not thinking I would get a response. Immediately he emailed me back and gave me the author’s agent’s info.  I couldn’t believe it.  I very sappily wrote Olivier Sultan, a top agent at CAA, and others proclaiming why I was the right person to direct the show at the Henegar, a small theatre in comparison to his world.  Then nothing.  The email was slightly embarrassing, but I will share it anyway:

The Drape and Square thing at the end makes my skin crawl, but hey, it got a response!

During this time, Ain’t Misbehavin’ was the unqualified hit of the season, so I was rejoicing in the fact that a risk paid off.  I constantly tell my actors, if you don’t take one risk per day, you aren’t living enough.  I needed to follow my own advice.  So I emailed CAA again!

The season announcement was looming as I started to work on Spamalot in March, 2014.  When I had all but given up hope, Mr. Sultan’s assistant Selena had pity on me or she saw how enthusiastic I was about the show.  She told me they wanted the show to happen!  BOOM!  I was in!  Then…nothing.  For two months.  But, I didn’t give up.  I kept emailing, trying to avoid being a pest.  The season brochures had to go out!  Three weeks later, Selena said, “We would love to see CRY-BABY at your theatre, so please feel free to announce it with your season and we will work out all financial terms in due time!”  Little did I know that behind the scenes the rights to the show was being picked up by MTI.  Uh oh.  But I proceeded and announced Cry-Baby in the 2014-2015 season.

All was well, or so I thought.  First of all, we didn’t have a script.  No one knew which version was out there to send me. The same with the score.  There were so many versions during the show’s process from La Jolla Playhouse to Broadway to New Line.

After nine months later of complete silence, MTI contacted me and said, “Please take down all the publicity for Cry-Baby and remove it from your website immediately!”  I was stunned. What can I do now?  I had no idea what to do or who to reach out to.  Also during this time my contact at CAA had moved on, so I had a new assistant to reach out to and catch up on the last nine months.  I sent an email to MTI showing that we had permission initially, but all the rules suddenly changed.  Of course it had changed!  The show was now the intellectual property of MTI, but luckily their President, Drew Cohen also wanted our production to happen.  They let us keep it on our site but quickly informed me that there was NO WAY any of the materials would be ready by the time we auditioned.  And they weren’t even sure we would have any materials by the time the show was scheduled in our season.  Grim, to say the least.

Please keep in mind that through all of this, when every email pertaining to Cry Baby was printed out, it was around 190 sheets of paper.  

Enter my new hero, Adam Schlesinger.  Adam wrote the music and lyrics for the show with David Javerbaum, the head writer on “The Daily Show”.  Adam wanted the show to happen at the Henegar.  So he kindly reached out to me and said that he would handle getting me the materials to put on the show.  Now, keep in mind this was on March 15, 2015.  Exactly two months before opening night and fifteen months since I sent my first email!

“First of all, thanks for your continued interest in Cry-Baby! And sorry all for the delays. We have been working to streamline the show (particularly the music) and it’s been a bit of a process. But the good news is we can get you what you need for your production. Feel free to call me and discuss.  Best, Adam Schlesinger”. WHAT?!?!  I was literally going to talk to the guy who wrote the show, but also wrote one of my favorite songs, “That Thing You Do”.  I was dying.  The first time we talked I was scared to death.  After talking to him I realized he is one of the nicest, down to earth guys on the planet.  If it weren’t for Adam we would not be making history at the Henegar.  Without his support, we would be DOA.

From there I met, Steven M. Gold, the music producer for the Broadway production who was readying the score for the licensed version.  They were also laying down tracks for a cast recording featuring the original cast.  (There had never been an actual cast recording).  After countless emails and a few phone calls, we finally were able to get a working libretto and a score.  Since they were sent via email, I immediately had them bound and they were ready two days before auditions.

Yes, it was stressful!  But it was also the most exhilarating experiences of my life. How many directors can say that they worked with the ‘team’ to create something that would be forever licensed to every theatre in the future?  But, little did I know, the hardest work was still ahead…

To be continued in Part Two:  Frankenscript!

You Gotta Have Heart....

Damn Yankees -- March 2015

Here is the first problem that I had with the show:  I was casting it literally during the tech week for The Color Purple.  How do you come off of a show with so much emotion and go directly into another show without bonding with it first?  I was so tired, worn out and so emotionally drained that I just wanted to burrow myself under my comforter and not think about anything.  You always go through a grieving process when a show is over and I knew The Color Purple was going to take me a while to get over, so maybe it was better than I had an immediate distraction to take my mind off it.

I have always loved Damn Yankees ever since I saw it in 1994 with Bebe Newirth and Victor Garber. It was so much fun and I loved the music!  Who doesn't!  I, like I am sure other Directors, was completely disheartened when you realize that the revival version is not available through MTI.

SO, like I do, I put on my Nancy Drew hat and start investigating.  Doug Besterman, who did the arrangements for the '94 revival was my key, or so I thought.  After much digging, I found his email. I asked if there is any way one can get the revival version.  His answer:  No.  The bottom line is that once he is hired to re-orchestrate the show, it becomes the intellectual property of the producers, not the authors or the royalty house.  Dammit.

There are a few inherent problems with the original show licensed through MTI.

1.  The first act is at least 95 minutes on a good day.
2.  It has a very old time structure, especially in Act II with tons of scene changes.  Some of these scenes are literally 30 seconds long with NO songs.
3.  After "Lola Wants" the team puts on a variety show?!?  Which includes the great number, "Who's Got The Pain".  But why?  It doesn't really do anything.  At the last minute Applegate pulls a fast one on Joe and starts a rumor that he isn't who he says he is.  Um.  Okay.
4.  Joe's transformation back to Old Joe happens offstage.
5.  Its just plain creaky.

No shade to the original show, it still works!  Trust me.  BUT, I had contacted MTI to ask if I could change the end of Act I to right after 'Whatever Lola Wants" as there is still 30 minutes of the Act left after that.  Answer:  NO!  Another thing I asked, for marketing purposes if we could slightly change the name of the team from the Washington Senators to the Washington Nationals.  Why?  The Washington Nationals do their spring training in town and as luck would have it, they were playing the Yankees the week we opened.  MTI:  NO!  Again, you can't blame me for trying:  Is the revival available for rental, is there anyone I could talk to? MTI:  NO!  Ugh.

I have seen the show several times in its original form.  And my main problem with the show was that they all seemed to concentrate solely on the players of the team.  Here is the deal:  You KNOW the players and their shtick works!  They have some of the best songs in the show.  My idea, and the only way I could find an "in" was with the couple.  You have one song and around 30 seconds with Meg and Old Joe at the beginning of the show to set up their relationship.  You have to make it count!  If you don't, why would the audience root for them to get back together?

Now, for clarification, when I talk about my "in", I mean that it is my emotional key to the show.  As a Director, I have to find the one through line that I can concentrate on and build the show around that.  It is like a lifeline to the audience.  I wish I could explain it clearer, but an audience has to have someone to root for. Someone they identify with.  Sure it could be Smokey, one of the bumbling players, but its NOT Smokey's story.  It is Joe and Meg's.
I spent more time in rehearsal with Meg and the old and young Joe.  Especially the scene where young Joe and Meg sing "Near To You".  Joe knows what is going on, Meg has no idea and they both miss each other terribly.  He comes close to telling her who he is in that scene, but if he does he will lose her forever.  It is an incredibly touching moment and it had to play right or the show wouldn't work!  Luckily it did.

Another issue, is that many productions bump up the sexual tension between Lola and young Joe during "Two Lost Souls".  Yes, they may be banished to hell for all eternity, but I had Joe still play it like he had a chance of being back with Meg.  If you play it the other way it makes Joe look like there is a seed of doubt.  I didn't even want it to seem like there was one iota of him possibly even thinking of cheating on Meg.  I felt that if I did that, the audience would look at Joe differently and he is NOT a quitter.  He has to get back to Meg.  So the way I did it was a fun and playful way for them to both blow off steam, have fun and in the end, it gives him the boost he needs to fight Applegate, the Devil, and put a plan in action to get back home.  It is also a tranformational moment for Lola, she gets her fight back too.  She doesn't want Applegate have all the power over her.  So the number becomes about two lost souls who decide to fight back!

My choreographer, Christine and I had an idea for the opening number.  Usually it is performed by disgruntled wives and their baseball obsessed husbands.  The idea was, what if the team themselves came out of the TV and interacted with Meg and she took her anger out on them?  Then the other wives could come in and do the same.  First, it introduces the entire team earlier and second, it gives Joe and Meg a more tangible frustration.  So the wives were literally manhandling the players of the Washington Senators and telling them how they are ruining their relationships with their husbands. It worked incredibly well and really set up the struggle and why Joe would even think about selling his soul to the Devil to help his underdog team win.  Again, it went back to my original struggle with the show.  Why would Joe Boyd chance his whole entire life to help the Senators win the Pennant?  

Anyway, the casting went well.  We had a very strong cast.  Our baseball players were some of the most diverse men I had ever seen in the show.  But I have to admit, they had more accidents than any cast I have ever worked with.  Sprained ankles.  Torn ligaments.  Running into walls.  Two of them had to drop due to injuries.  Life was mirroring the art.  I called them the Washinton Kellers.  They needed a Miracle Worker.  I loved them all and so did the audience.  But that struggle was real.

The tech:  Since I wanted the show to move as fast as possible, we went with a unit set made to look like a baseball field with bleachers and stadium seating above.  It gave me several levels to play with. The rest of the set was on wagons or fly pieces.  That way I could move those transitions as fast as I could.  A tip for the costumes, RENT THOSE UNIFORMS!  In the long run it saved us tons of time and money.

I put the show in March as I wanted to see if an older, more recognizable show is something that the "snow birds" would want to see.  WRONG!    The show had not been done in the county for a while and I thought it would also bring in a male demo.  WRONG!  It sold okay.  Certainly not what we were used to for the March (our peak time of the season) time slot.  About a week after the show closed, I was mailing the scripts back to MTI at the post office.  This little old lady, she must have been 80, with a walker motions me over to her.  I looked around thinking she was motioning to someone else.  Nope, she was looking at me.  "Hey. You are that guy at the Henegar right?  The Director with the funny curtain speeches?"  "Yes, ma'am."  "Well, we all come to the Henegar because we get to see something new.  I liked "Damn Yankees" but it isn't new.  I have seen it before!"  "Thank you for your input."  There it was, right there.  Out of the mouth of an audience member.  We were gaining a reputation for doing shows that no one had seen before.  And that is a good thing!

The reviews:
http://www.brevardculture.com/2015/03/review-damn-yankees-at-the-henegar-center/

http://www.floridatoday.com/story/entertainment/2015/03/16/review-henegar-scores-homerun-damn-yankees/24855763/

Go see more at Pam Harbaugh's awesome site, Brevard Culture, www.brevardculture.com

I'm Here....

The Color Purple -- January 2015

After the success of Ain't Misbehavin' I knew I had to take a big risk.  Little did I know how big that risk was going to be.  

When I was 15 my Mom took me to see The Color Purple at a small movie theatre.  To say I was moved was an understatement.  I think it spoke to me at that time in my life as it is about overcoming obstacles to find your own happiness.  After I saw the movie, I devoured the book and everything I could get my hands on by Alice Walker.  

I had heard that they were turning the book/movie into a musical and my first thought was complete and utter doubt.  I mean, how could that work?  The movie spans almost 40 years.  How could they condense that novel into a streamlined 2.5 hour musical?  And make it work?  Once the show premiered I got my hands on the cast recording the day it came out.  (I knew the original double LP of Quincy Jones' brilliant score like the back of my hand.)  My initial thought was, where is "Sister" and "God Is Trying To Tell You Something"?  The more I listened the more I understood why the authors didn't include them.  Those songs were specific to the movie and the iconic women who played the roles. It was a smart choice.  They were their own entity.

Marsha Norman, the brilliant playwright was brought in to write the book.  Once I read the libretto I was semi-convinced.  Of course it is abridged. How could it not be!  That massive story and you are adding music!  Norman used a Greek Chorus of sorts with three Church Ladies who constantly comment on the action and clue to audience in to how much time had past and fill in exposition.  It was a clever devise.  I knew there were a couple of transitions I needed to figure out.  The one that bothered me the most was when Nettie arrived at Mister's house.  

Breakdown:  She hugs Celie and 30 seconds later said she had to go to school, she walks across the stage and Mister follows her.  There is a horrific sequence where he tries to take advantage of her.  Nettie hits him, he kicks her out of the house.  Celie sings a powerful soaring section of "Dear God" in which she tells the audience that is has been 5 years since she last saw Nettie and there were no letters.  Wow.  Now, all of this happens in the spam of 3 minutes.  This is what I did.  I just let it play. The actors and the lights did all the work.  Your first instinct might be to make a set change or a quick costume change for Celie. Don't!  There is literally NO time.  We started the scene at Mister's House.  When Nettie walked to school, we flew in a baton of camo netting and once Celie and Nettie are pulled apart we flew the netting out.  THEN, when the house is revealed again I put a light on what should be the focal point, the mailbox.  Anyway, at that point you must have faith as a Director that the audience is with you.  If they "buy it", it will work. And it did.  Still, for me, that is a lot of time passing in 3 minutes.   Here is the evidence...

Celie and Nettie reunite at Mister's House

Nettie is attacked and Mister kicks her out...

Dear God...

Auditions were looming and I was more nervous than I usually am.  I HATE the first day of auditions.  What if you can't cast it?  If you can't cast it, the haters say, I told you they couldn't pull it off!  I was beginning to wonder myself. Did I jump too quickly?  Ain't Misbehavin' had 5 people.  The Color Purple had to have at least 24 minimum!  The night before the first auditions, I literally didn't sleep.  Then the fateful day came.  I waited in my office.  I couldn't make myself go into the lobby and see how many people showed up.  At 7:05pm I finally emerged into a full fledged nightmare.  I had 8 people total.  My heart sunk.  What was I going to do?  The 8 people we had and I could definitely use them in the show, but I hoped and prayed we would have more then next day.

After another sleepless night, I went in the next day preparing myself for the worst. But I refused to think about a back up show.  I didn't want my brain to go there just yet.  Same routine.  In the office until a little after 7 and when I went out, the staff manning the desk for audition sign ups were beaming.  We had 56 people.  And they were still coming in!  I started breathing again.

After 4 hours of auditions, I was completely blown away by the talent.  90% of the people there I had never seen before and many of them had never been on a stage before in their life.  But the voices.  It was unbelievable.  People had come all the way from Vero, Orlando, Tampa, etc. just to be part of the show.  The cast also included four younger kids who became my lifeline.  The youngest one just turned 5, who played Young Harpo and the oldest was a girl playing Sophia and Harpo's child, Henrietta. Now this little actress was wise beyond her years.  And SO talented.  In fact I ended up putting her in the "Miss Celie's Pants" number with her stage Mom, Sophia.  She danced to beat the band and her light shined so bright!

My babies...

Since the show moved so fast, I wanted the set to be as simple as possible.  We ended up using an empty space with a ramp at the back and a cyc. Then we had several wagons and house facades for Mister and Harpo's homes.  That's it.  I didn't want to get caught up in anything too grand.  And I wanted NO black outs.  I wanted one scene to literally cross fade into another one.  I also wanted to proscenium lined in old wood.  The framing device was like an old house or a barn that you would find in the middle of Putnam Co., Ga.  Trust me, I lived an hour from the area Walker writes about.

There was a giant issue that I couldn't figure out how to stage: the Africa section and the letters showing what is going on with Nettie.  What I did was relatively simple.  I had seen a picture of someone in front of a clothes line reading.  Where would Celie go and hide from Mister to read Nettie's letters?  In front of the laundry hanging in the yard.  So we backlit the sheets so we could see in sillhouette what Nettie was experiencing.  This also saved a ton of money on costumes! :)

Then when Nettie and the Olinka tribe have to leave their village, we ripped the sheet down and watched them slowly walk down the upstage platform.  It was a truly powerful moment.

After the arduous task of casting, working around conflicts and setting a rehearsal schedule, the hard work really began.  I had a cast of 36 and the perfect people for all the parts.  But that little voice in my head started to question if I was the right Director to helm this production.  Real talk here.  And my cast knows this, so I am not spilling anything they don't already know.  But, here is a white guy surrounded by these brilliant African American performers.  I was nervous that they would question whether or not I was capable of understanding and conveying the material, the struggle, the experience.  I certainly knew something about adversity growing up being different in the South. But was it really the same thing?  And was I going to be able to dig deep and still myself in a rehearsal. What happens if I get angry, like I do several times a production.  Would they think I am being an Uncle Tom??  Just typing that sounds horrific, but think about it for a second.  I conveyed some of my fears to my muse during the production, LeRoy, who was playing Ol' Mister.  "Hank, be yourself... your passion shines through. You are the only one thinking this...and you are so brave to bring this to the community."  He would have to tell me over and over again.

One of my saving graces was I had a support group of people that pushed me forward.  A few of them were former students at the High School I taught at, so we had an open dialogue.  And they knew how passionate I was about the show.  Without them I don't know how I would have gotten through it.  BUT, the best part of the whole experience was that we all became a big family.  I will get to the closing day in a second.

Rehearsals were an experience.  My main phrase throughout the whole journey was, I don't buy it!  It got to the point that after we ran scenes the cast would voluntarily say, I didn't buy it!  You are dealing with real emotions.  Tough scenes with such emotional ferocity.  I wanted it all to be as real as possible.  If it wasn't, I knew the show wouldn't work.  It was tough for some of the cast, many who didn't know each other, to go to these dark places. So I immediately worked on making sure they bonded as quickly as possible.  Another huge conflict was showing that the characters were 15 when the show started and around 60 when it ended.  That is hard for any actor, but we concentrated a great deal on body language.  The way the body moves.  What time does to one's body.  Trust me, I know about that part.

Now, I would be kidding you if I said that the majority of the rehearsals were stress free.  Are they ever?  This one was a little more difficult as we were dealing with some people that had never been on stage before, let alone a musical this size.  So they had to learn quickly and I was their guide.  Plus, you are constantly dealing with all these very raw emotions.  I knew that I had to make that rehearsal space a safe place.  The actors had to feel completely comfortable expressing their emotion without fear of judgement.

One of the hardest aspects of the show is the relationship between Celie and Shug.  The way I staged their first encounter after "Yo sho is ugly", was very quiet and very tentative on Celie's part.  She is petrified of this woman. She has also been told by Mister many times that Shug is the love of his life. Celie didn't care about that part, she didn't want love from Mister.  All she knows in the beginning of the show up to that point is how to stay alive.  Shug is in the bathtub and I put Celie on the opposite side of the stage looking down.  Slowly, as the scene progressed I moved Celie closer to Shug as she becomes slightly more comfortable.  But Celie WANTS to see her. To see what she looks like, she sings to herself, "I want to see what all the fuss is about..."  Celie takes care of Shug, brushes her hair, helps her eat, fixes her dresses.  And Shug needs that.  And Celie needs someone in her life that won't be taken away.  Shug is a safe bet as Mister won't let Shug go, like he did Nettie.  You have to convey that instantaneous non-verbal bond even though neither one wants to admit they need each other at that point.  

That leads to the scene where Shug finally breaks down Celie's wall.  They kiss.  It is one of the most beautiful songs and moments in the show.  I just didn't know how the audience was going to react. Much has been made of the novel's depiction of the sexual relationship between the two.  The movie almost skips over it completely.  The musical, while it doesn't dwell on the sexual aspect of their relationship, brings it back to the surface in Act II when Celie admits that she is in love with Shug and wants to spend the rest of her life with her.  The movie treats it like two best friends who want to grow old and rock on the porch together watching the sunset.  But the musical is braver in that respect.  Celie literally gets angry at Shug when she is leaving to meet with another man, "Why do you need a man to make you happy? I'm right here!  Don't you love me?"  That is Celie's breaking point.  She realizes that she can't depend on others to find her happiness.  She has to be able to be strong period.  Then Celie stands alone on the stage and sings "I'm Here".  The actress playing Celie 'played around" with the song for a while.  She batted at it like a kitten with a ball of yarn.  She didn't attack it.  Of course, it sounded amazing, but I knew it could be so much more.  I also knew it WOULD be.  You can't force an actor to do that.  You just have faith that it will come.  And boy did it ever.  By the way, one thing I can tell you after my many years of doing this, never underestimate the audience.  When the kiss finally occurred, people didn't gasp in shock, they embraced it. They wanted Celie to feel what love felt like.  The audience was behind it 100%.  If what you have done is real, sincere and they buy it, they get behind you!

Now a little about Precious.  Precious was an actress in "Ain't Misbehavin'" and she has told me a little about her life story.  And it eerily mirrored Celie's.  I will post the article about it here.  Please take a moment to read it. (http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/local/2015/01/29/color-purple-lead-draws-dark-moments-soar/22536621/) So Precious was afraid to let her wall down.  But, let me tell you one night she literally lost it on stage.  I saw someone I had never seen before.  A little girl.  She was literally living in that moment and everything that had lead her to that second showed on that stage.  I have never seen anything like it in my life.  It sounded like the song was completely written on the spot.  There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Truly, the hardest part of the show was moving it from a rehearsal room to the stage, with all the set pieces. And I did get frustrated for the majority of it, but so did the cast.  I felt like I had to reblock everything.  So patience on all sides was running thin.  There were words said, but it was all in an effort to make the show as perfect as possible.  My heart was so into the show I felt like I had literally lost my mind a bit.  I was a man on a mission and nothing could get in my way.  I thought of nothing else but the show for 4 months straight.  But around tech week is when the massive nosebleeds started.  My blood pressure was off the chart.  The worst one was watching Act I and something happened and I yelled.  Look, every Director has one or two moments during a show where they are allowed to lose it. Well, with in reason.  I am certainly a lot better than I used to be.  But this one night I was so frustrated with everything.  I sat back down.  A few minutes later I looked down and my entire notepad and blue jeans were covered in blood.  Shara, who played Shug had to drive me home. It literally wouldn't stop.  The next day my Doctor said, "Whatever you are doing, stop." HA HA HA  I wish it was that easy.

Now a note about publicity.  Our photographer Dana and I wanted to do publicity shots of the cast and make them look as authentic as possible.  We found an old house and dressed the cast up.  Dana spent hours making the photos look like they were taken in 1919.  Boy did they get people talking on Facebook about the show.

We made it to opening night and let me tell you, it was magical.  The run did have its share of drama backstage.  And yes, I got really frustrated.  I literally said to them one night, "You have such a beautiful show onstage, but backstage it is a reality TV show.  Bad Girls Club unedited!"  They still laugh at that.  We all knew the last show was looming.  And no one wanted to admit that it was going to be over.  We had all grown so close.  A big giant, loving, dysfunctional family.  During the last show no one could get through the finale without breaking down.  I was by the sound booth and could barely stand up.  The conductor and musicians in the pit could barely get through it.  And by the time everything was quiet and Celie sings her last, "Amen". We were officially a wreck.

After the show the entire cast, crew and musicians met in the basement and all we did was hug and cry.  It was one of the most moving moments of my life.  I will post a few pictures and let them speak for themselves.

 Me and My Cookie... who played young Nettie.

Me and Precious.  

Our big crazy family after the last show.

It was an event.  And experience I will never forget.  And I would do it all over again, nosebleeds and all.  And in case anyone was wondering, yes we sold out a few times and it was one of the best sellers of last year.

Here are the reviews:  http://www.floridatoday.com/story/entertainment/2015/01/25/review-bold-beautiful-color-purple-henegar-must-see/22316063/

http://www.brevardculture.com/2015/01/review-the-color-purple-the-musical-at-the-henegar-center/

Check out more at www.brevardculture.com

For more information about the rights to The Color Purple, follow this link to the Theatrical Rights Website:  http://www.theatricalrights.com/color-purple

The Bitch of Living!

I figured I should go back and give you a brief history lesson about my first year. What worked, what didn't. I WILL NOT go into all the drama of having a new person come in to a preexisting organization.  I have talked about it a little in previous posts.  Don't want to dwell in the past.  We have all moved on since then, although my dance card/party invites have become a little thinner.  Maybe one day after a glass of wine, or carafe I will spill, but this is not the place.  Maybe I can talk about it in generalities, like in "Gossip Girl"...  __ called me a ____ on Facebook and my Mother saw it on my newsfeed and said, "WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU WORKING???"  I think it is good for other Director's to hear how hard it is to take on a job like this.  BUT, nothing but positive energy!  Namaste!

In 2008 my Dad was very ill so I needed to come closer to home and be with him.  I took a job at an area Fine Arts Academy.  Over the several years there I grew more and more discontent.  A student of mine told me about a show coming up at a place Downtown called The Henegar Center. The show was "Follies" and I had always wanted to do it.  Little did I know that the Director was an old friend of mine, Joan Taddie.  I called and picked her brain about it and decided to audition.  That show opened many doors one of which lead me to my job as Artistic Director of The Henegar.  It is also the show where I met my love, Christine who played my wife Sally in the show.

There we are in rehearsal.  Amazing times.

From there I met Wendy Brandon who had literally helped bring the Henegar out of the muck and financial straights.  We hit it off instantly. She asked me my ideas about how the Henegar could change.  I told her straight away that she needed a leader, an Artistic Director.  Not imagining in one million years that it would ultimately be me.  She was just asking my advice.  She advertised, I applied and the rest is history.

That was in January, so I was still headlong into teaching, so I came in the afternoons and just watched and listened.  I also went back and researched all the past shows, how much they made, how much they spent, etc.  It wasn't until May that I started full time and before that they were asking me to pick a season for the 2013-2014 year.  WHAT?!?  Here are the little details I knew.  The Henegar is a 475 seat house in a 100 year old building.  It is one of 5 community theatres in a 50 miles radius.  And ticket sales were averaging 60% capacity overall for the entire season previous to me.

So this is what I decided to do.  Being downtown I was wondering where all those younger FIT people were doing before they went out to the bars on the weekend.  Why couldn't they come to the Henegar first?  It is a well known fact that many Theatres are struggling as your traditional theatre audiences are dying out.  My brilliant idea was this:  Let me throw as many different things on the wall and see what stuck!

This was the season:  Spring Awakening (AH!), Forever Plaid, The Sound of Music, Ain't Misbehavin', Monty Python's Spamalot and 9 to 5.  Okay, so I was trying to hit every single demo in the world and see which one's caught fire.  Here is the breakdown:

Spring Awakening:  First of all, what a risk to open a season with. But I knew in August I would still have the college age kids to cast.  Talk about a show that can completely divide an audience, but I knew that it would get word of mouth out there about us if we were willing to be all risky and risque and stuff.  :)  I could go on all day about this show.  It was the perfect cast.  The perfect time.  It was amazing.  And it sold out for the entire run. We even had to add performances. So, BOOM, new demographic.

"Spring Awakening" cast/crew/musicians on final performance and a promo shot.

Forever Plaid:  A great show, lousy time slot.  Lesson learned.  Plaid is becoming like Little Shop of Horrors.  They are amazing shows, but no one comes to them anymore.  I should have put the show upstairs in the black box.  For point of reference, it was the lowest selling show of my first season. So talk about going from one extreme to the other.  The show itself was super, but no one came.

The Sound of Music:  I don't think I need to explain why I put it on the season and why it was around the Christmas slot.  For better or worse, for a time reference, we opened the day after the Carrie Underwood version.  The show sold amazingly as it always does.  So I was back to not losing weight via stress.

Ain't Misbehavin':  Literally the crown jewel of the season.  AND WHO KNEW!  It had been done in the county about 20 years ago, but no one had touched it since.  I knew that the African American audiences in the area were in desperate need to showcase their talent and come out for a show that celebrated the music of Fats Waller.  And let me tell you, it blew the roof off the place.  Audiences came in DROVES to see it.  (It sold the best that year by far!)  New demographic. Boom.

My beautiful cast for "Ain't Misbehavin'"

Monty Python's Spamalot:  I saw the show on Broadway and LOVED it.  So silly.  Maybe I could get those FIT engineers and a younger demo in the theatre for this one.  And what I wasn't expecting was the numbers were huge, but the biggest ticket buyer for the show is the demographic that NEVER buys tickets.  Men, aged 21-35.  And the fans of that movie.  I was not expecting that.  It also had the most return ticket buyers of any show, they just kept coming back.  I had the most fun directing that show.  I still miss that cast to this day.

The Knights of the Round Table!

Then we closed with 9 to 5:  A show that I find very funny and very irreverent.  Like Addams Family, the version licensed is the tour version, which is tighter and more streamlined.  It is never going to win the Pulitzer, but I thought that Dolly would bring people in.  It sold okay.  Not what I was hoping.

"9 to 5" Office Shenanigans!

So after the first year I figured out what people really wanted to see and what people wouldn't come out for.  Overall it was a successful season, if I do say so myself and I learned a lot of lessons.  But the main thing it showed me is after I threw it all on the wall, I saw what stuck.  History lesson over, although I will probably spend more time talking about the specific shows that year.  More to come...

When You're an Addams....

The Addams Family -- October 2014

Back to my season overview.  Now technically I am not an amazing writer.  I call it word vomit.  Meaning that whatever comes into my head I write down.  And it is never linear, so good luck!  I  guess what this blog is about is my journey through this job and the specific shows I worked on.  You know every show is different, so I am going to write down my opinions of the specific show, how I made it work (or not) and just the journey to get there.

When "The Addams Family" rights were available, I pounced on it.  Before even thinking about it very long or analyzing the script, which I do ad-nauseum.  We had never had a successful show in the October slot and I thought this might work.  Halloween theme, check!  Nostalgia, check!  Campy, check!  I should preface all of this by saying, no shade to the authors as all shows have inherent problems that need to be solved.  What worked for Broadway might not translate to your audiences. The script you get for "Addams" is the tour version, which in my little opinion, was retooled the right way after Broadway.  It is now a tighter show.  

Here's another thing about being an Artistic Director that I haven't really discussed.  As Artistic Directors, our knee jerk reactions are to jump on a show immediately upon release so we can all say, "FLORIDA PREMIERE!"  If you deny that concept, you are lying.  That is great from a Marketing standpoint, but from a logistical production stand point, it might need some rethinking.  Just because you CAN do the show doesn't mean you CAN do the show the right way.  I hope that makes sense.  Also, it sucks for other theatres that could possibly pull off a show technically, but they can't get the rights because another theatre is doing it first who may or may not be able to produce the show the way it should be done.  Just because you get the rights doesn't mean you should do the show.  Look, I wasn't even sure if I could pull "The Addams Family" off, but in my gut I took the risk.

But I have to admit, when I read it I was... well, underwhelmed.  I LOVE Andrew Lippa.  I liked almost all of the music.  When I tell you that the "But Love (reprise)" was consistently sung among the cast, it is an understatement.  Just say it in the right phrasing and the lyric sounds like, "Let's not talk about anything else, BUTT LOVE!"  Yeah, I am a junior high school student.  But the script was written in little vignettes, almost like an old school musical that does scenes "in one", meaning in front of the curtain so the crew can set up the next scene.  And some of the scenes were there for just that, to cover other things, so it didn't really propel the plot at all.  I had the same issues with "Damn Yankees" which I will discuss later.  Or as I like to call it at our Theatre, "Damn TANK-ees".

Fast forwarding to tech week, I usually look at my tech crew and watch them.  If they laugh or are involved, I know there is something there.  When they sit there with their heads in their hands I panic.  They are the best litmus test. Well, tech week, they not only had their heads in their hands, they were literally talking about where they were going eat that night and what they needed to do the next day...and they were sitting right behind me!!  AHHHHH! Not a good sign.

Anyway, we had over 100+ people audition. So my idea about nostalgia was going to pay off audience wise.  BUT, there are tons of shows out there that actors REALLY want to audition for that TOTALLY TANK at the box office.  You know the shows.  "Addams" is one of those shows like "Annie" where you literally have people at auditions dressing up to audition.  Which really kind of perturbs me.  I might have another vision for the show!  If I do "Charlie Brown", which I have done so many times I may or may not have a tattoo of him, it really pisses me off when someone comes in with a bright canary yellow shirt with a zig-zag on it.  I swear if I ever do that show again and someone comes in that has shaved their head, I will officially resign.  I am sure there are people out there that want a role so bad, like in "Les Mis" that they would try to get consumption just to show the Director they can play the part.  Jeez.

For the costumes I told our costume designer, Andrew that I really wanted to go back to the original concept designs of the comic, not the TV Show or the Movie.  BUT, how do you take readily identifiable characters and not make them look like a carbon copy of previous versions?  Andrew and I worked on keeping common themes, but also adding new flourishes, things that are more current.  I didn't want my actors to feel like they had to copy John Astin or Anjelica Huston. They needed to make these characters their own.  Of course Morticia is in an all black sexy dress!  But for Gomez we went with a dark gray suit in the beginning and as the show progressed, his clothing, while still dark overall, lightened up as he let Wednesday go and realized he has to change with her.  For the Addams Ancestors we had a field day with what time period we were going to give the actors.  From flappers, to a Civil War hero who died in battle, to someone who may or may not have been Moses, I let him go crazy with ideas of who these people should be!  The audience howled every time a new Ancestor came out of the crypt in the opening number.  We may have toyed with bringing Judy Garland out, but I'll never tell...

ANYWAY!  The rehearsal process was so much fun, I have to admit.  I was working with great people and even got my friend, Shane on stage after a long hiatus.  For the first time in my life we rented a set.  It was based on the Broadway set and was delivered to us 2.5 weeks before we opened.  Only one other theatre used it before us in Augusta, Ga. So Brighid, my Production Manager, and I traveled north to see the show.  I was excited to see the show, but most excited about seeing how they pulled off "The Moon and Me" and also see how the show flowed. At that point we had been in rehearsal for about 3 weeks, so the show was blocked.  This is a mini story in itself.  So B and I pile up in her SUV and head to Augusta.  And we pulled into the worst looking hotel I had ever seen in my life.  When I checked in the front desk lady actually ran away for 15 minutes.  When she came back she said, "Sorry, I just had to check and see which rooms were acceptable!"  ?!?!?!?  Little did we know, but she put us in the very back of the hotel and as we pulled the car around I literally saw a drug deal go down outside the room next to mine!  Good God, I was going to die.  And you know, the only thought I had was, I have to leave my baby Bertrum (my 11 year old pug) here by himself while we see the show!  Not that I might be murdered.  Bertrum always comes first.

So we went to the show.  The audience loved it.  The set looked gorgeous, but they didn't do "Moon and Me" with any effects.  We left the next day and of course got lost in the middle of nowhere.  But we did pass the Annual Cooter Festival!  (That's southern for Turtle, you pervs!)  Our TD, Lighting Designer and Brighid had great ideas for the lights, so I wasn't worried.

Now that I knew the show could work, I kept bumping up jokes and beefing up character choices.  The show's central plot is slight.  Like Mama-Mia without all the Dad stuff or "Dancing Queen".  Wednesday has fallen in love and doesn't want the family to embarrass her in front of her new in-laws!  Tada! That's pretty much it.  Luckily I had great actors.  And I really concentrated on Gomez and his realizing that his little girl has grown up.  There is a beautifully written scene and song in Act II that he sings to his daughter.  There was my "in" so to speak. The whole show should build up to that moment.  And it was played to perfection by my BFAM Rob who has a daughter of his own.  When I talk about cast bonding, this show inherently had it.  We all got along and became a very tight knit group.  I am not a director who likes to have 100+ people on stage.  Just keep it as small as you can and I think it works the best. Just my opinion.  Also, there is a terrifically funny section at the end of Act I that is a perfect piece of Theatre. Both families sitting around a dinner table.  And boy do I love to direct a farce.  And my actors played it to perfection.

As far as the "Moon and Me" section where Fester has a love dance with the Moon itself... It worked perfectly and the audiences continued to ask me about it long after the curtain fell.  I had my cast under strict orders to never tell ANYONE!  Not even their loved ones.  The thing is, it was SO incredibly simple if we told them, they would say, "THAT'S ALL?!?!"  One critic claimed that:
The “Moon and Me” is a piece of sublime theater magic which you really cannot miss. It will probably end up in Brevard community theater legend..."  Pam Harbaugh http://www.brevardculture.com/2014/10/review-henegars-the-addams-family-the-musical/

Pre-opening night was a wonderful, exciting affair...until...  Well, The Henegar is a 25,000 square foot building.  It has three dance studios, rehearsal spaces, a black box and offices.  At the very end of the building is an Art Society that is a tenant... and we love them.  BUT, opening night they decided to fire up their kilns.  Yep.  SO, right before the big reveal of the Family behind the gates, the power shut down and all the alarms sounded.  A transformer blew and the heat/smoke from the kiln set off the fire alarm.  Chaos insued as everyone of our staff tried to solve the problem before the big fire truck got there. Man, we had it down to a science, running, calling, fixing. I swear I lost 10 pounds in 10 minutes. What we didn't want is the audience to get up out of their seat.  We were lucky enough to have everyone there that knew how to fix it!  BAM!  Back to the Overture and the audience was more excited than ever.  I think it actually pumped them up more.  Well, obviously, sitting in a Theatre not knowing if it is going to burn down around you would pump anyone up.

So, dear friends, if you are thinking of doing "The Addams Family", give it a chance.  It really works. I have heard that it is one of the most popular properties at Theatrical Rights.  And luckily this year I get to work on another Lippa show that I adore called, "Big Fish".  I can't wait for that magic to start.

Like the fox said, "Bye Felicia"... until tomorrow.  :)

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